les marteaux 7:44 Sat Aug 30
New Limerick Thread
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Same as before
The football we play to be blunt
Is to most West Ham fans an affront
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Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
arsene york-hunt
1:23 Tue May 21
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Why is it that Japanese porn
Just fails to give me the horn?
My first thought, I'd say,
You might be turning gay,
Not much cause to be so forlorn.
There was a young girl called Patience,
Could play tunes with her flatulence
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Mike Oxsaw
12:35 Tue May 21
Re: New Limerick Thread
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There once was a boring old queen,
Who sat at home eating dasheen.
His "girl"-friend, Karen,
Was a right fucking hen
And out-of-the-box plain obscene.
Why is it that Japanese porn
Just fails to give me the horn?
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arsene york-hunt
11:57 Mon May 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
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There’s one irritating poster, Nutsin
Who really gets under my skin
These stalking chaps
I wish them vile mishaps,
Like some big cunt filling them in.
There once was a boring old queen,
Who sat at home eating dasheen
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Hello Mrs. Jones
10:55 Mon May 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
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As a rest from all things obscene,
I'm doing a rhyme that is clean
A good try York-hunt
But just to be blunt
You must be a boring old queen*
*Totally unnecessary insult purely for metrical reasons
There’s one irritating poster, Nutsin
Who really gets under my skin
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arsene york-hunt
10:35 Mon May 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A girl I once knew called Peg
Liked licking a cock for its smeg,
She had a hunched back,
And yeast round her crack,
Did I mention her wooden leg?
As a rest from all things obscene,
I'm doing a rhyme that is clean
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Hello Mrs. Jones
8:10 Mon May 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A Geisha girl down in Kyoto
Did on the web post a good photo
Uncharacteristically rude
She was shown in the nude
Without her makeup or kimono
A girl I once knew called Peg
Liked licking a cock for its smeg
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Mike Oxsaw
7:43 Mon May 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
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When she went out always on Mondays
She went out without any undies.
On her seat in the bar,
She left a slug scar
Attractive to those owning Hyundais.
A Geisha girl down in Kyoto
Did on the web post a good photo.
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Helmut Shown
6:33 Mon May 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
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The points total from the jury,
Says Usyk had won, not Fury
Returning to the lives
Of sharpening knives
Or laying tarmac in Newry
When she went out always on Mondays
She went out without any undies
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arsene york-hunt
1:59 Sun May 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
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In Devon they've all got the shits
Their water supply is in bits.
Cryptosporidium,
Causing, from their bum,
An enourmous shithouse bowl blitz.
The points total from the jury,
Says Usyk had won, not Fury
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Mike Oxsaw
10:54 Sat May 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Stalkers on the thread when they're bored,
I still say that they're best ignored.
Nah! Just have a look,
He's stuck on my hook
Just like that cripple he whored.
In Devon they've all got the shits
Their water supply is in bits.
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arsene york-hunt
8:51 Sat May 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
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It's time that I booked my next flight,
Boeing will sure see me right.
In a 737 MAX
I could sit and relax.
I don't believe these planes are shite.
Stalkers on the thread when they're bored,
I still say that they're best ignored
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joyo
8:44 Sat May 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
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I live in a mud hut
And l've got a big fat butt
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joyo
8:43 Sat May 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
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It's time that I booked my next flight,
Boeing will sure see me right.
Just to get away from Oxbore
As hes rotten to the core
And a real ugly sight
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Mike Oxsaw
8:03 Sat May 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
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lts (sic) terrible to live in Belvedere
Unless of course you're queer
joyo's head, rent free
Is THE place to be
It's empty from left to right ear.
It's time that I booked my next flight,
Boeing will sure see me right.
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joyo
4:59 Sat May 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A young girl was shagging her brother
He said "You are just like our mother
Who married Oxbore for a few quid
Because hes an old flid
Incese will get them all in bother
lts terrible to live in Belvedere
Unless of course you're queer
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Mike Oxsaw
3:16 Sat May 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Now my waistline\\u2019s getting thick
It\\u2019s much harder to notice my dick.
I feel rather silly,
Not seeing my willy.
Can't tell if it's shooting too quick.
A young girl was shagging her brother
He said "You are just like our mother"
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Hello Mrs. Jones
5:25 Fri May 17
Re: New Limerick Thread
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in a camp for the naturist,
A regular punter got pissed
But tragedy struck,
He was hit by a truck
The cunt was certainly not missed
Now my waistline’s getting thick
It’s much harder to notice my dick
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arsene york-hunt
2:08 Fri May 17
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Two Geordie girls took off their tops
They had nipples like organ stops
To the local lido,
For a tan they did go.
Until led away by the cops.
in a camp for the naturist,
A regular punter got pissed
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Helmut Shown
12:47 Fri May 17
Re: New Limerick Thread
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School lunch time we went and bought fags,
And talked of poofs, johnies, jam rags
Gaining sexual proficiency
Reading Health & Efficiency
Before there were top shelf mags
Two Geordie girls took off their tops
They had nipples like organ stops
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arsene york-hunt
7:28 Thu May 16
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A bird from Essex had piss-flaps
That snaped on a cock like bear traps,
Not washing and such,
Caused an unmoist crutch,
So now they are covered with chaps.
School lunch time we went and bought fags,
And talked of poofs, johnies, jam rags
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Hello Mrs. Jones
5:55 Thu May 16
Re: New Limerick Thread
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The was a bloke from Montreal,
Who sat around doing fuck all
The bored stiff Canuck
Just didnt give a fuck
So he just sat and stared at the wall
A bird from Essex had piss-flaps
That snaped on a cock like bear traps
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